Funny Sayings, Original One Liners by Jason Love

You can never be too rich, too thin, or too shallow.

Communism: because life isn’t fair.

When gnats begin to hover above the sink, it’s probably time to do the dishes.

It’s a dog eat dog world, and there are some real bitches out there.

$70K cars don’t make a man any less bald.

When betting basketball, always pick the team with the most black guys.

The elderly don’t drive that badly – it’s just that they’re the only ones with the time to do the speed limit.

I want to figure out the meaning of life, because then I’d be really, really rich.

If you can gossip while you do it, it ain’t exercise.

Funny Cartoons and One Liners